February 18, Poem #35 The Package

The Package
By Melody Beerbower

I tried to send a package.
I marked it 'handle with care'
But when the box arrived,
It looked rather worse for wear.

When the battered package
Upon the porch was found.
I saw they'd placed the down side up
And the upside down.

To tell all that was the matter
I only can begin,
For they shipped the inside out
And the outside they shipped in.

February 17, Poem #34

I am tired and need some sleep.
My body is sore and my lips are too.
So, I'm going to bed
Without further adieu.

February 16, Poem #33

 Okay, give me a break. I was on the retreat. I wrote this jingle for one of our plays.

When your bladder fails
Use Prevail!

Yeah...you might not want to ask...

February 15, Poem #32 A Toast For Mercy

 A Toast For Mercy on Her Birthday
By Melody Beerbower

Here's to Mercy,
On this day of her birth.
May your days be filled with happiness,
Your house full of mirth.
Here is to red,
The color of that substance
Which is thicker than water-
At least at first glance.
Here is to black,
The color that comes after red
It's also for night,
When you should be in bed.
Here's to the future,
May you meet a nice grum,
May you never choke on your drink,
Or swallow your gum.
Here's to a 'good afternoon'.
May your wishes come true,
And here's to you never becoming
A you-know-who.
Here's to hoping
You have Happy Birthday
And may your cake of life
Have a long time to stay.

February 14, Poem #31 English Teacher

Before you read this poem, I must point out that I did not have a specific English teacher in mind when I wrote it.

English Teacher
By Melody Beerbower, with special dedication to Winston Churchill from whom I stole a quote.

I had an English teacher.
She was very strict.
When we used poor grammar,
Off her it would tick.

One day she had enough,
And made us up to line.
She gave to us a talking
About grammar points so fine.

"There are important things,
About which we must talk."
Out flew her favorite weapon-
A white and gritty piece of chalk.

"When you write a sentence,
You must write it neatly.
When it's time to end one,
You must end it completely."

"That is why you must never, never
Under ANY circumstance,
End a sentence with a PREPOSITION. 
Believe me, this is not that advanced."

"Oh the things with which you struggle,
I don't know from where you get it.
If you think that this is something
You can get away with, forget it."

"At what are you laughing?
At what are you staring?
Have you no appreciation
For the wisdom I am sharing?"

"Now, down sit! Up look!
Pay attention to me!
I'm not done with you yet.
This is something to which I must see."

"This shall go on no longer.
Down I am putting my foot.
This is the kind of nonsense
Up with which I shall not put!"

"Every Kindergartener should know this.
I think down things they are dumbing.
It makes me start to wonder
To what is this world coming?"

Yep, that was my English teacher.
We loved her in spite of all that.
And sometimes I find myself wondering
Where in the world she is at.


 

February 13, 2013 Runny Nose

Runny Nose
By Melody Beerbower

Oh,
Why is
My nose runny?
Does it think it funny
To slide, dawdle, and drip
Slowly down my upper lip.
No matter how I blow
It will not go
Away.

February 12, Poem # 30 Midnight Prowler

Midnight Prowler
By Melody Beerbower, to be read in a soft, deep voice and with the lights turned down low.

A warm soft breeze
   Drifting, drifting
As I stare out the window
   Lis'ning, lis'ning
A sudden creak
A sudden sqwak
   A shifting shadow
   A broken lock
A red light glows
And what just happened
Nobody knows...