Do You Want to Hear This Poem

Do You Want to Hear This Poem?
By Melody Beerbower, January 11, 2011

Do you want to hear this poem?

( "Yes")

Well to bad,
You took so long deciding
You used up all the time I had.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve Everyone!!!

~Melody

Grandma Got Run Over by a... Shopper?

Okay, I know. I know. It's not black Friday.  That's been over and done with for some weeks now, but I could not resist posting this song I wrote yesterday.  I've been wanting to write new words to 'Grandma got Run Over by a Reigndeer' for quite some time now.  But until yesterday I have not had any 'inspiration'.

Grandma Got Run Over by a Shopper
By Melody Beerbower, December 20,2011

Grandma got run over by a shopper
Walking through Walmart on Black Friday
You can say there's no better deals than theirs,
But they really ruined my holiday. 

She just wanted to buy a mixer,
And I begged her not to go.
But she would not listen to me
And she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When we watched the news the next morning
We saw the scene of the attack.
She had on a dazed expression
As she was rammed into a clothing rack.

Grandma got run over by a shopper
Walking through Walmart on Black Friday
You can say there's no better deals than theirs,
But they really ruined my holiday.

It's not Christmas with grandma
Still in a hospital bed
And we all can't held but wonder
If perhaps when she fell she cracked her head.

Grandma got run over by a shopper
Walking through Walmart on Black Friday
You can say there's no better deals than theirs,
But they really ruined my holiday. 

Grandma says she'll be prepared next year
When she shops on Black Friday.
She knows just what to bring with her
A crowbar and a can of peperspray.

Grandma got run over by a shopper
Walking through Walmart on Black Friday
You can say there's no better deals than theirs,
But they really ruined my holiday. 


Christmas is 4 days away.  Just in case you were wondering.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve!

There's a Fossil In My Wassail

Here is a poem I wrote a while ago. The idea of it was spurred by an argument over the correct pronunciation of "Wassail". We determined that when pronounced correctly it rhymed with "Fossil". Thus, the poem.

There's a Fossil in My Wassail 

By Melody Beerbower, December 2011

Inspired by Stephen Olson

I was drinking from my mug

At a party on Christmas Eve,

When I felt something hard in my drink.

What a shock I did receive!

As I peered into my cup

There before my eyes

Appeared a something

That filled me with surprise.

"There's a fossil in my Wassail!"

I cried.

"Come and see!"

"That fossilized little eye

"Looks like its staring straight at me!"

Everyone gathered 'round

With a little shove and jostle,

Because no one had ever seen before

A wassail covered fossil.

Speculations ran wild about what it could be,

But the thing that puzzled me

Was how a fossil could get in my wassail.

It made no sense to me.

Fossil's can not move,
That's why I was surprised,

Because, after all,

A fossil's fossilized.

Everyone claimed to be Innocent

Of any foul play,

But it seemed to me

That someone was trying to ruin my holiday.

I examined the fossil closely

And thought that it might

Be a distant relative

Of a trilobite.

It could be from a T-Rex

Or something more colossal...

I'm not sure

All I know is there was

A FOSSIL IN MY WASSAIL!

  Oh, and in case you are wondering, you can correctly pronounce it wa-sayl.  I looked it up in the dictionary.  But had that been common knowledge, or had everyone pronounced it that way, I would never have written this poem. And that would be a loss to humanity.    :)

Posting with a Purpose

   Hello! My name is Melody Beerbower.  Of course if you are reading this you probably already know that.  You also probably know that I like to sing.  If you don't you have not spent much more than an hour with me. :) (You can be glad this is a blog and you do not have to hear any of my off-tune singing.)   Besides singing, I like to write: stories to poems and anything in between. (Except book reports. Bor-ring!) I enjoy writing different lyrics to songs, and, occasionally, writing one of my own- tune and all.
  There are two drawbacks to my writing:
1. I am an atrocious speller
2. I have terrible handwriting
   (You don't have to worry about that, considering this is a computer and I'm typing.)
   Nevertheless they can be worked on, and I am improving in both. (If only slightly.)
   And after proofreading this I have realized that my grammar could use some work too.
  
   The reason I started this blog is to "publish" some of my poems and songs I think -and hope- people will enjoy. (If you don't you can always -not- read it) Poems will not be the only things posted; I may post things that are happening in my life.  We'll see.
  
  I should post a poem to start with a bang...


Welcome to My Blog
By Melody Beerbower


Welcome, welcome to my blog
Where we learn to share
Not to hog.
I'll share many poems
A picture or two
Criticisms are welcome
(And compliments too.)




   Well, that's all for my first post. I hope you enjoyed and were not scared off by my first lousy poem.
   First lousy poem as in: It's my first poem posted and it is rather lousy.
Not: It's the first of many lousy poems : )
Although, on second thought, that might be true as well...
                              You'll have to judge for yourself.
  ~Melody