This song is dedicated to all faithful gardeners out there who maintain never-ceasing vigilance over their garden beds, squashing all enemies who try to creep in unawares. It is dedicated to all those not so faithful gardeners who remind themselves that losing one battle does not mean the war is lost. (So what if the grass choked out your strawberries? If you persevere the rhubarb may still be saved!) And lastly, this song is dedicated to anyone who has ever stooped to pull a weed in the hot sun. You have my sympathy. I hope this song will console you next time you find yourself battling in the garden.
I Hate Weeding
By Melody Beerbower, spring 2010
To the tune of: Do Your Ears Hang Low (Click here for the tune and original lyrics.)
Oh, I hate weeds,
Cause they choke out all the seeds.
They use up all the soil that your rhubarb needs.
And no matter how hard you tug
In the ground they stay snug.
That’s why I hate weeds.
And weeding’s no fun,
Sitting out there in the sun,
Getting baked like a pancake
Because you cannot run.
It’s dirty and it’s hateful,
And I’m always very grateful
When the weeding’s done.
But I’ll not complain—
Instead I’ll pray for rain,
Or maybe something better like a hurricane.
It would pull out all the weeds,
But it might transplant the seeds.
Then I’d have to weed again.
Maybe if I move along
And forget this little song,
The weeding wouldn’t take half so long,
But it’s way more fun
Sitting out here in the sun
If you sing a song.
So a song I’ll sing
And weeds through the air I’ll fling
And I’ll wait for the summer to pass like the spring
Cause in winter weeds won’t grow
Instead the snow
Covers everything.
Until then I’ll be weeding,
Or maybe inside eating,
Or perhaps upstairs in my bedroom reading.
I may get sick as well,
You never can tell,
When it comes to weeding.
(Don't worry. The other weeding song is much better than this one, but you'll have to wait until it's closer to summer to hear it.)
