Conversations in the Blueberry Patch

This is based on a real conversation I overheard in the blueberry patch, although it has been embellished slightly. :)

Conversations in the Blueberry Patch
By Melody Beerbower, November 2010

Golden sunshine shone through the dewy blueberry bushes, reflecting off the leaves and into my eyes. The sparkling drops of dew soaked the ground- to mention nothing of my shoes and socks. Silently growing between the blueberry bushes a lone blackberry bush reached one prickly arm toward the sun, but caught my hair instead.
   As I moved between the rows of bushes, a clump of blueberries caught my eye, so did a over hanging branch I ran into. Disentangling from the branch, I reached for a clump of berries. They fell at my touch into a gofer hole, but I managed to catch a nice, big, fat green one. 
Noticing another nice looking bunch higher up in the bush, I took a step forward and reached for them. This time the blueberries did not fall into the gofer hole. I did.
   At that moment I decided that the big bushes were not for me. So, I scrambled and scurried to the smaller bushes, where the sun was shining brightly, scorching my back and leaving my feet to freeze. 
  As I picked I listened to the chatter of others throughout the patch. That is how I came to overhear this conversation in the blueberry patch.

   It was a conversation between two elderly women. So as not to embarrass them (And also because I do not know their names) I will call the respectively Lady 1 and Lady 2. 
   Lady 1 to Lady 2, excitedly: "Oh! Why Hello!"
   Lady 2: "Hi! Good to see you."
   "How are you?"
   "Good, and what about yourself?"
   "Fine. Where are you living now?"
   "Same old place," lady 2 said, shrugging.
   "Really?" lady 1 queried, "I knew this really nice couple that use to live there. Do you know them? i think their last name is Barley."
   "Yeah, I know the Barley's. Do you mean Gregory and Martha?"
   "No. Martha's sister-in-law Sarah and her husband- Daniel or something."
   "Who?"
  "Sarah Barley. Do you remember her husbands name? Dan, or something..."
   "His name was Harry."
   "No...I'm pretty sure it's Daniel."
Silence followed as the ladies continued picking.
   "How is your niece Sharon?" inquired lady one.
   "Good."
   "How's Mark?"
   "Who?"
   "Mark. Her husband."
   "Her husband's name is George!" lady two said slightly exasperated. 
   "I thought it was Mark."
   "I know my own niece's husband's name!"
More silence.
   "If you know the Barleys," said lady two with dawning excitement, "You must know Jacobs!"
   "Jacob who?"
   "Not Jacob. Mr. Jacobs."
   "Never heard of him."
   "What! Do you you know Susan Brown?"
   "Of coarse."
   "Well-" lady 2 took a deep breath and rattled off, "John Jacobs is her husband's coworker's parent's mother's daughter's niece's second cousin once removed's wife's sister's child."
   Lady 1 stared. "I didn't quite follow that. I got stuck at 'husband's'. Susan's not married!"
   "She must have gotten married after you knew her, because she is married- to Howard Brown no less.  Now, Howard has a friend named William Darrell-I think I, I don't quite remember his last name-it might be Ferrell-but that doesn't matter. Anyway, William is coworkers with Jared Kingston of all people!" 
   "Wow"
   "I know, isn't that weird? Well, his parents are Julie and Samuel, of course, and Julie's mother Sarah has another daughter named joy, which is Julie's sister and Jared's aunt. His Aunt Joy has a niece May, which would be Jared's cousin, I think."
   "Wait. Sarah has only two children, Joy and Julie."
   "Yes...?"
   "Then that means May is Jared's sister."
   "Yes, I see. But if there was another kid she would be his cousin. Anyhow, to continue... Jared's cousin May, or sister, as you've pointed out, has a second cousin once removed, named Sam. (I guess since may and Jared are siblings-not cousins-Sam would be Jared's second cousin once removed as well. No matter whose  second cousin he is, I think they all wished he was removed a few more times.) Sam ended up marrying this gorgeous girl named Maggy. She is the mother of twin boys who died, and are therefore of no consequence. It was not Maggy, but Maggy's sister Louise, who was lucky enough to give birth to John Jacob's. Fact is he even married Susan Brown's sister Jane. Now do you remember him?"
   "I don't know one person you've just mentioned except for Jared Kingston, Sarah, and Susan Brown!"
   "But," exclaimed lady 2, "if you lived in Prattleburg your whole life you must know them!"
   "I don't live there. I live in Columbus. You of all people should know that. Wait...is your name Mary Greg?"
   "No. Is yours Samantha Powers?"
   "No!"
   "Fancy that. We've been talking like we know each other and we've never even met before."
   "That's funny. So, you have a niece named Sharon?"
   And on they continued to walk like old friends until one had to leave. never once did they think to ask each others real names.


I made up the exact words the ladies said, but the general thread of conversation really happened. It was so strange, especially that, after all that, they did not ask each other's names.