On Clever Writing

I recently read a book called Three Men in a Boat. (To say nothing of  the Dog) by Jerome K. Jerome. (His parents were so original with his name.)  This highly amusing book made me laugh out loud several times. It even made my older sister laugh out loud when she read it. That must mean it's funny.  And I don't mean lol-you-may-have-just-cracked-a-smile-or-perhaps-let-out-an-amused-snort laughing out loud. I mean tears-running-down-your-face, wouldn't-want-to-read-this-book-in-public-for-fear-of-looking-like-you're-crazy laughing out loud.

I read another of his books which is a compilation of some essay-type writings.  They too were funny. I decided I would like to try to write something copying his style of writing, so I did. I don't know how well I accomplished that, but it was fun to write.  You should definitely NOT judge his books by this next piece of writing I'm going to share. 

On Clever Writing

By Melody Beerbower, March 22, 2012

    Often I feel like writing something clever, but whenever I sit down and decide, "I think I shall write something clever today." nothing comes to mind.

    However, when I'm snuggled down in bed with the covers wrapped cozily about me, my mind wanders and I think up the cleverest things. They make me chuckle and I think I should like to write them down-- only my bed is too warm and I haven't any paper and pencil handy. So I leave it till morning. As a precaution I replay the words in my head -over and over- even picturing how they would look on paper.  I drift off to sleep and my dreams are filled with it. It winds it's way in and out of them in the strangest fashion.

   When I awake in the morning I have a haunting feeling that there is something I've forgotten, and that I had imagined something very clever last night, but I can't quite grasp it.

   Well, that's the way it goes with dreams.  I remember one time I had the most enjoyable and fantastic dream.  I was quite excited by it. When I awoke I lay with my eyes closed, replaying the most interesting parts in my head. I reviewed everything very closely so as to make sure I would remember it. Then I opened my eyes. 

  Have you ever noticed how the sophisticated  light of day vanishes all the fancies of the night? Try as hard as I might to conjure up my dream all I could produce was a vague impression of danger and romance and a chase and some great sacrifice on my part. Who or what I had sacrificed myself for I do not know, but it must have been something noble because I felt so grand inside.

   Now bedtime is not the only time Cleverness strikes.  It often happens at such convenient times like when I'm sitting in the car wishing I had brought along some bit of paper and a pencil to jot down my ingenious ideas. Of course had I brought them, my mind would be blank and my paper merely covered in doodles.

   Often it sneaks up on me when I'm talking,or rather listening, to a particularly dull person. And I'm paying more attention to how the end of their mountainous nose bobs up and down as they speak, or how they have a stray piece of dandruff below their hair line, and have made a rather half-hearted attempt at applying their makeup today. The person generally is too busy talking to notice I'm not paying attention, and I'm too busy not paying attention --being caught up in all my clever musings-- to notice how remarkable it is he hasn't noticed yet.

  And so cleverness comes and goes...and some are more clever than others to capture it and put it down on paper.

This is me sitting on our chicken coop writing a song called "An Awkward Day", which I may or may not post depending on my gumption. (And yes, I'm wearing red pants.)